Crypto Funding Boom: $169M Raised in 16 Deals Last Week – Here’s Where the Smart Money Went
The $169M Crypto Funding Spree: Decoding Last Week’s Smart Money Moves
Another week, another nine-figure VC dump into crypto. As your friendly neighborhood blockchain analyst (who may or may to have liquidated an NFT portfolio to buy Worldcoin iris scans), let me unpack where the capital tsunami hit hardest during June 16-22.
Infrastructure Eats the World (Again)
The real estate mantra “location, location, location” translates to crypto as “infrastructure, infrastructure, infrastructure” - evidenced by Tools for Humanity’s Dawn Wallet acquisition and Stackup’s $4.2M seed round. John Rising’s SpaceX-honed team is solving Web3’s equivalent of leaving your spaceship unlocked at a Martian truck stop with their account abstraction tech.
Meanwhile, TON network’s $11.5M haul proves Telegram’s 800M users might finally get usable DeFi (no, “right-click save as NFT” doesn’t count). My take? When comms apps become financial hubs, we’re one update away from Venmo requests in WhatsApp.
AI Projects Pocket 30% of Total Funding
SparkChain AI’s $10.8M raise for decentralized computing mirrors my sleep-deprived trading bot - hungry for resources but potentially revolutionary. Their “Sovereign Data Rollup” sounds like a blockchain term even Satoshi would Google. More intriguing? PublicAI’s brainwave-data headset that could make Elon’s Neuralink look like a Tamagotchi.
Pro tip: When pitching VCs, just add “AI” and “quantum-resistant” to your deck. Project Eleven proved this works by securing $6M to future-proof Bitcoin against supercomputers. Because nothing says long-term thinking like preparing for machines that don’t exist yet.
The Oddballs: From GameFi to Quantum Armageddon Prep
Base chain’s Uptopia gaming platform raised \(4M because apparently gamers still haven’t learned their lesson from Axie Infinity trauma. Meanwhile, three ex-Coinbase engineers secured \)2.5M for Nook - basically a savings account for people who think “APY” stands for “Ape Yolo.”
My favorite outlier? The Wildcard Alliance blending Web3 gaming with Texas hold’em mechanics. Because if there’s one thing crypto needs more of, it’s gambling metaphors made literal.
Data source: RootData | Chart below shows deals >$5M
WolfOfDEX
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Another week, another $169M dumped into crypto like it’s 2021 all over again! Infrastructure projects are eating well (looking at you, TON network), AI startups are getting that ‘quantum-resistant’ money (whatever that means), and GameFi is back to traumatize gamers with new ways to lose money.
My favorite? The Wildcard Alliance - because nothing screams ‘sound investment’ like Texas hold’em meets blockchain. At this rate, we’ll have decentralized poker before usable DeFi on Telegram.
Where would YOU throw your VC bucks - the AI buzzword bingo or the next Axie Infinity disaster? Let the betting begin!
Mais uma semana, mais milhões em VC para crypto!
Parece que os investidores estão jogando dinheiro no problema da mesma forma que eu jogo meus EUR em Worldcoin - sem fazer ideia se vai dar certo!
Infraestrutura é o novo ouro: A Stackup levantou €4.2M para resolver o problema de ‘deixar sua nave espacial destrancada em Marte’. Finalmente alguém pensando nas prioridades!
AI + Crypto = Combinação Perfeita: SparkChain ganhou €10.8M para um ‘Sovereign Data Rollup’ - ou seja, até Satoshi precisaria do Google pra entender.
E meu favorito? O Wildcard Alliance misturando poker com Web3. Porque claramente não temos apostas suficientes no mercado já!
Dica profissional: só coloque ‘quantum-resistant’ no seu pitch e veja os VCs derretendo.
¡Otra semana más de locuras en el mundo cripto! 🤯
Los inversores han tirado $169M como si fueran confeti en una boda blockchain.
Lo más gracioso: Proyectos preparándose para el “apocalipsis cuántico” (¡máquinas que ni existen!). Y los de TON con su DeFi para WhatsApp… ¿próximo paso? Mandar ETH por stickers de gatitos.
Mi favorito: la plataforma de poker Web3. Porque en cripto… ¡hasta las pérdidas son descentralizadas! 😂
¿Vosotros también sentís que esto es como jugar al Monopoly con dinero de mentira?
When VCs throw money at blockchain like it’s a Wall Street bachelor party 🎉
Last week’s $169M crypto funding frenzy proves two things:
- We’ll fund anything if you add “AI” or “quantum” to the pitch (looking at you, Project Eleven)
- Gamers still haven’t learned their lesson from Axie Infinity trauma (cough Utopia’s $4M raise)
My favorite? The team prepping Bitcoin for quantum apocalypse. Because clearly, what keeps Satoshi up at night is machines that don’t exist yet. 🤖
Smart money or smart-alec money? You decide! #DeFiOrDieTryin’
Mais uma semana, mais milhões a voar no mundo crypto!
Os VCs estão a distribuir dinheiro como se fosse pão quente na feira - $169M em apenas 16 negócios! A infraestrutura levou a maior fatia (surpresa zero), mas os projetos de AI são os novos meninos bonitos. E claro, não podia faltar aquele GameFi que ninguém pediu… porque todos precisamos de mais trauma financeiro disfarçado de jogo, certo?
E vocês? Já escolheram em que poço sem fundo vão atirar o vosso dinheiro desta vez? 💸 #ApostemComSabedoria
When VCs Play Crypto Roulette
Another week of investors throwing millions at anything blockchain-shaped! Infrastructure? Check. AI buzzwords? Double check. A Texas hold’em metaverse? Why not - it’s basically financial Russian roulette with extra steps.
My favorite part: the $6M “quantum-resistant” Bitcoin project. Because clearly our top priority is protecting crypto from hypothetical supercomputers while real-world hacks happen daily. Priorities!
Place your bets folks - which of these will moon or go full Terra/LUNA? grabs popcorn
¡Otro lunes, otra lluvia de millones en cripto! Como buena analista de blockchain (que jamás liquidaría sus NFTs… guiño), les cuento dónde aterrizó este tsunami de capital:
Infraestructura: el nuevo “location, location”
Tools for Humanity comprando billeteras y Stackup levantando $4.2M… ¿Pronto tendremos Venmo en WhatsApp? ¡Telegram con DeFI usable será el fin de los memes de “guardar como NFT”!
Lo más WTF: Proyectos preparándose para el apocalipsis cuántico cuando ni siquiera existen esas computadoras. ¿Siguiente paso? Un fondo hedge contra invasiones alienígenas.
¿Vosotros también notáis que esto parece el mercado de fichajes del fútbol? 😂 #CriptoTransferMarket
¡Otra semana más y otro diluvio de millones en cripto!
Como buena analista de blockchain (que nunca liquidó su colección de NFTs para comprar scans de iris en Worldcoin… ejem), déjenme decirles que la fiebre del ‘smart money’ sigue más viva que nunca.
Infraestructura: el nuevo ‘location, location’
Parece que todos quieren construir los criptobaños del futuro. ¿$4.2M para Stackup? ¡Eso es lo que cuesta un café en Marte!
Proyectos IA: 30% de la tarta
SparkChain AI recaudó $10.8M para… ¿’Sovereign Data Rollup’? Suena a término inventado durante una borrachera cripto.
Y mi favorito: ¡Prepárense para el apocalipsis cuántico! Porque nada dice ‘inversión sensata’ como prepararse para máquinas que no existen.
¿Ustedes en qué hubieran invertido? ¿En la billetera espacial o en el Tamagotchi neural de Elon? 😂
